Tales of a Desperate Freelancer, part I

I think the Mayans were on to something. They knew 2012 was going to be a rough year, they just didn't know why or for whom.

Our tale of woe begins back in the Spring semester of 2011 when I took a course in Advanced Drawing. I loved it. As the semester progressed, I found myself looking forward to class and, increasingly, dreading the trudge back to my dreary little cubicle. I daydreamed about being a designer or doing art for a living. I was given a couple of HTML/CSS-related projects, but it was to implement designs from the Marketing department. I longed to create and be creative.

I made mistakes.

Two, to be exact, and my manager took me to task for them. After multiple sit downs with him, we came to the conclusion that my heart simply was not in programming. Fearing that attempting to stay in a job I could not stand would only lead to further mistakes and possibly getting fired, I submitted my resignation in November of 2011. The resignation was padded, giving me 90 days to find a new job; my last day would be January 31st, 2012 - I figured that would give me plenty of time to get hired and carry us through the holidays.

Thus I updated my personal website, tried to patch together a presentable portfolio, and began hitting up local and national job sites, looking for design positions that would allow me to do what I loved, but would not have to move. I got several calls from the DC/NOVA area, but they were interested only in programming and/or required me to be on-site. Other leads turned out to be for positions which the company already had someone in mind, they just had to advertise the opening for legal reasons.

In December, I was connected to the owner of a local design firm. We talked and he seemed eager to take someone on. Right after Christmas, I went in and spent a full day in the office, familiarizing myself with the team and their projects. The owner wanted to know when I could start working, as they had some projects coming up. I felt obligated to finish my current position (it was three weeks, versus two), but offered to spend that time learning their systems and brushing up on skills they used that I had not in a while on my own time.

Things were looking up. I was teaching myself new software, the stress of looking for work was over and, while I wouldn't be making as much initially, the potential for growth was much better than in my current position.

On Tuesday, January 17, 2012, I emailed the owner of the firm - whom I'd been staying in contact with - a interesting link. He replied by telling me that business had slowed down and they no longer had the amount of work they needed to support my position.

Reading that email, I could feel the bottom drop out of my stomach; I was devastated. What was I going to do? My last day of employment was 14 days away and suddenly I had nothing! I wanted to keep this from my wife - to quietly find a new job, then break the news to her once everything was alright. But I couldn't do it, I had to tell her. She was devastated as well.

Back to the hunt. I called up a friend of mine who said his company might have a position I could try out for - though I haven't heard back yet - I designed and printed up business cards offering services as a freelance Graphic and Web Designer. I started hitting all the local print and design and computer businesses, hoping to generate leads.

I decided to write a blog article about my experience. Maybe it would generate a lead or two. Maybe it would help someone else who was considering a move to freelance work; hopefully they can avoid the same stress that I have experienced.

How will it turn out - Will I succeed? Will I fail? Do I have the skills and ability to provide for my family as a freelancer?

That chapter has yet to be written.

DnD: Obligatory 5th ed. / D&D Next post

As per the stipulations of being a gamer and playing D&D, I am posting about the recent announcement that WoTC is working on a new edition of the game.

I've been around and heard people complain about new editions before. D&D is not the only game I play in which new editions are released every couple of years, either - Games Workshop's Warhammer (40,000) being the other edition-based game I play.

It's a business, so they need to produce new content to generate income. Additionally, no edition has been (or will be) "perfect" - there will always be something that could be tweaked or reworked to make the game better. (In GW's case, they have to shift the balance of the game to keep different armies viable, and therefore, marketable).

Personally, I don't see myself buying a whole new set of books. Rather, I would like to wait and see what works in 5e and try to incorporate that into my 4e game. I don't have any opinions about rumors that may or may not come true and the only thing on my new edition 'wishlist' is shorter, more streamlined combat. I am interested in learning about new game mechanics, though.

If I had a group that played on a regular basis, and if I weren't already stressed about a big life change (new job), I'm sure I'd have more to say and might care more - and that's fine if you do. I just don't happen to be in that place right now.

So there you go, one more inconsequential post about a new edition that doesn't really even exist yet.

Store: New Team Fortress 2 Design Available!

This weekend, I added a new design to my CafePress Store. Inspired by Team Fortress 2, "Is Credit to Team" - available in both RED and BLU flavors - lets everyone know who's got their back when the poodoo hits the fan.

Also available are:

Get yours today! I guarantee you'll be the only person wearing it.

Announcing the Kingworks Creative Store!

I've finally done it. I've done what many bloggers and web-personalities before me have done and jumped into the world of hocking t-shirts online. Okay, there's more to it than that, but the long and short of it that I now have a CafePress store done up in the style of my other website. Hence the 'Graphic Design' in the logo.

Designs for sale will include artwork seen on this blog as well as some brand new designs I'm working on. I only have two designs up right now - Zombie Bite and Brother Ptolemy - with plans to add many more, including some brand new ones designed exclusively for the store!

For your convenience, there is a new link over in the right column for Kingworks Creative Merchandise.

Feedback and suggestions are welcome.

Your support means the world to me and will allow me to continue developing as an artist and designer. Thank you.

Art: Skyward Sword

I decided to burn some nervous energy doing art (and some sort of poetry, I guess?). For some reason, despite not owning it, I felt compelled to do something related to Skyward Sword.

The clouds turned out nice.

Misc: Changing Jobs

2011 has been a year of self-discovery.

Back in the spring, I took an art course at the university where I work. As the semester progressed, I began to notice that I was really looking forward to class and really dreading the trudge back to my desk.

Things reached a head in October, when I finally put to words what I'd been feeling over the preceding months - my passion is not in programming, but the creative arts. The majority of my job was emotionally draining and required very little original creativity. Day after day, I languished in my cubicle, daydreaming about making things at which people enjoyed looking - work that inspired and endured.

So, after much prayer and discussion with my wife, I submitted my resignation. Come January 31, 2012, I will be 'sans employment.' The plan is be hired well before that. There are some hurdles, however - A modest portfolio and living in a rural area without a lot of tech-related jobs being the two biggest.

It's been eleven days - correction, it's been a long eleven days - since I gave my resignation. I've submitted several applications and even had an interview over the phone (I don't think they liked the idea of hiring someone who wanted to work from home over moving).

There are good days and bad days - times of optimism and despair. What I was unprepared for, though, was the effect all this stress and drama would have on me physically. I'm totally drained at the end of the day. It's as if I won't be able to rest - truly rest - until I know things are going to be okay. Which I kinda already believe - but I don't know how or when, and that's the distinction.

There's not really a point to this. I mainly felt like the blog needed dusting off and the recent lack of activity explained. I cannot tell you how eager I am to be in a creatively stimulating environment and getting the 'juices of inspiration' flowing again. And when that day comes - and it is coming - I will have such wonderful things to share.

Until then, send a good thought my way. If you're the praying type, I'd appreciate it if you'd offer one up for a stranger trying to follow his heart for once, instead of his thick head.

DnD: Anti-Alignment Argument or Walking the Walk vs. Talking the Talk

What Is Alignment?

Alignment, as described in the two Essentials Player Handbooks*, describes a moral stance. It is a dedication to a set of moral principles, a universal force ‘bigger than deities or any other allegiance that a character might have.’ Further, ‘picking and adhering to an alignment represents a distinct choice.’ In game-play terms, if you have declared an Alignment, your PC is always going to make choices in a certain manner … or else.

The Problem

Or else what? The handbooks don’t say. There are also no guidelines on how DM’s should treat behavior that goes ‘against’ a PC’s declared Alignment. When I was playing a little (and a I mean very little) 3rd edition in college, ‘or else’ was being threatened with negative levels for wanting to cast sleep on a stable owner so I could steal a horse that he refused to sell me - despite the rest of my party rapidly outpacing me in pursuit of some critical mission element or other. Apparently, a neutral good character would “never do anything like that.”

That example illustrates one problem (of many) with dedicated Alignments. Unless everyone agrees beforehand on the exact definitions of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ in the context of the game, they are subjective. When you have a defined element in a game system, you need also to have defined mechanics relating to that element - not so with Alignment. It simply is. How it actually affects a game - if it truly does at all - is anyone’s guess. However, the DM seems to have the most pull, by the sole virtue of his role. Besides, who else is going to enforce the proper Alignment-appropriate behavior?

Here’s another problem: what if a player wants to switch Alignments? What is required for that to happen? What forms get filled out and who processes them? What, if any, should be the penalties for Alignment-shifting? What about characters whose powers are derived from deities who themselves are aligned - Clerics for example? It seems like they would be most at risk for behavior that goes against their Alignment. Rogues, on the other hand, would be masochistic or just plain crazy to declare themselves ‘Lawful Good.’

Fixing Alignment

I see two solutions to the problem outlined above, neither of which are mutually exclusive:

First, if you are using declared Alignments in your game, when a PC makes a choice that goes against her declared Alignment - and sooner or later they will** - let them do it. Furthermore, let them get away with it. If you are going to have consequences, make them realistic. Negative levels and lost healing surges are not realistic. Getting chased by the City Watch because you stole something and end up going to prison is realistic. So are a Cleric’s prayers falling on deaf ears until he makes up for whatever it was she did to piss off her patron deity.

The second approach is more to my liking: Before the game even starts, establish with your players that Alignment is not something chosen beforehand, but develops throughout the course of the game as a result of their actions. Someone might claim to be good, and talk like a ‘good’ character - but do their actions bear that out? Do they ‘walk the walk?’

The Cleric may declare to be a follower of Bahamut, but do the decisions they make keep in line with the precepts of the order? If so, his powers should work (provided the rolling allows for it); if not, any faith-based skill checks might turn out to be harder than they thought they’d be. Maybe one (or all) of their prayers ceases to work at all. Of most interest, will the player figure out why this is happening to them - assuming you didn’t just up and tell them why.

What about the Warlock who willingly makes pacts with devils and demons, but ends up saving the kingdom from the powers of darkness? How might the source of his power be affected by acts of sacrifice and altruism? He might need to do some fast talking with his dark patrons to stay in their good*** graces.

What I like about this approach is that the players are a moral blank slate when the game starts. They are not tied down by a bunch of made-up backstory that often has little-to-nothing to do with the game and everyone is allowed to experience a path of self-discovery as both individuals and as a group.

Ripped from: http://www.likecool.com/Good_v_Evil--TShirt--Style.html

What if …?

A potential obstacle to the “no Alignment ‘till you earn it”**** approach involves the PC’s finding themselves in a situation that requires them to be clearly identified as being good or evil. This will likely not be an issue later in the game, but if the party has just started out, it is quite likely that they have not done anything to push themselves in either direction along the moral spectrum.

If such a case arises, I would have no problem telling the PC’s (via NPC’s, mystical means, etc.) that they need to prove themselves to continue.

Boom, side quest.

It then falls to the PC’s to decide for themselves if the effort needed to become good or evil is really worth it. Canny***** players may prevail with reasoning that their desire to complete the quest is itself proof of their Alignment.

Granted, if you like to run your campaign on rails, this might be more frustrating than not, and you should feel free to dispense with it.

Conclusion

A PC is not ‘good’ or ‘evil’ simply because they declare themselves as such; a PC is ‘good’ or ‘evil’ because that is how they act over the course of the campaign.

It can be quite exciting (and perversely exhilarating) to discover that the PC who thought he was a paragon of virtue actually turned out to be a greedy opportunist and fame whore - not because they had to act like that due to their predetermined Alignment, but because they chose to act that way.

* page 43 or 44, depending on which one you’re looking at.
** Especially if, like me, you enjoy throwing them into morally grey conundrums
*** Evil?
**** I really need a better name for it.
***** Or extremely lucky, depending on how their Diplomacy/Bluff check rolls out.